Today is my birthday and I am trying to not be to upset about it, but for some reason it is not working. This may get alittle morbid,,,,,
I am thinking that the reason is because at this age, my mother had one more year of life. I am also trying to remember what I was doing that last year. I know that alot of my time was concentrated on my then fiance' Mike. We were getting married and that took alot of my time and mental time. I do seem to remember that I spent more time away from the house then at the house. I really believe that I was in total denial of any chance that my mother was going to die. But less then a year later, she did.
I am now sitting here with the hard facts smacking me in the face that with Gods will, I will have lived longer then my Mother. I have gone in and had a colonoscopy so, that deadly possibility has been taken care of.
At this point in life, I can honestly say that I miss my mom. I would love to sit down and have a long conversation with her about life and what is going on. Talk to her about sewing and how she gave the greatest gift by forcing me to sit there during 4-H, making me make something to enter. To be able to talk to her about my son and the possible autism spectrum diagnosis and how do I do things better for him. To talk to her about men and wtf? are they all about and about how to put more faith in God.
For any of you out there that is reading this, make sure to give your mother a big hug and tell her how much you love her. You will never regret it. I am sitting here now and am totally regretting that I didn't take that last year of her life and hugged her more and telling her what a great women and mother she was.
Mom, I so miss you.